Balance
by chelsia
Summary: Ice skating. LazerZone. Hockey players. Shameless flirting. Ambushes. Stolen kisses. Akatsuki Members. Mix all this up, and what do you get? AU, mainly yaoi pairings. -DISCONTINUED-
1. Akatsuki, On Ice!

Author's note: Uhm... one request. Don't shoot me, and I'll live a happy life that's a little south of Plainfield. Please and thanks. (And I'll give you a cookie if this skating rink sounds familiar to you! xD)

Warning: Swearing, yaoi, crappy writing. That's all. Really. Now go and read. :3

-

**Balance**

****

Sasori was blushing, and this amused a certain blonde.

"Danna, you're blushing, un," Deidara chirped, grinning as the flustered redhead clung on to the boards for dear life. "I can't believe you've never been on skates before, un!"

The group of friends, well known as the gang called 'Akatsuki' at school, had taken a trip to their local skating rink. They all left early in the morning in Pein's car, which was a huge mistake. Hidan complained about how tired he was, Kakuzu was yelling at Hidan, and Konan was having dramatic mood swings (it was her time of the month).Zetsu was talking to himself about breakfast, Tobi was going on about something stupid (per usual), Itachi was threatening to kill Kisame, who in turn, was telling Itachi that he didn't get enough beauty sleep, and lastly, Sasori and Deidara were complaining about what art was. In the end, each Akatsuki member earned a lovely headache before they got out of the car.

Said redhead glared at the amused, effeminate man. "So? Hidan hasn't skated before, either…" Sasori pointed out, peering past Deidara's shoulder. The blonde followed Sasori's gaze.

"Hidan, let go of me. Now." Kakuzu growled as Hidan latched himself onto the pissed man. Hidan, indeed, was threatening ice, since the poor Jashin-follower had never set foot in a rink before.

"Goddamn ice!" The flaxen-hair man was giving the ice a universal hand sign and flailing about; this attracted attention to the already-wary ice monitors, who continued their circular pattern around the rink. As the Jashin-follower kept on cursing andwaving his arms, it only resulted him to fall backwards.

Unfortunately, Kakuzu fell with him.

As soon as they both connected with the ice in a slight 'thud', Kakuzu went straight for the other's throat. "YOU FUCKING _IDIOT_! I ALREADY TOLD YOU TO LET THE FUCK GO! AND WHEN I SAY THAT, I MEAN IT!" The money-lover proceeded to strangle Hidan, and finally, the ice monitors went over to escort the two off the ice.

Deidara chuckled, sticking his tongue at Hidan as they passed them to the rink's opening. The scythe-wielder, of course, took notice of this. "JUST YOU WAIT BLONDIE!!" The blonde artist continued to act childish and tease his friend, and in return, received a colorful choice of curse words.

"Hidan's gonna kill you one day, Deidara. You know better than to piss him off." The two smirked at each other, both having different reasons for doing so, before the blonde unexpectedly pulled Sasori away from the wall. "Wha--! Stop that, dammit."

Deidara had taken Sasori's hand and started dragging him towards the middle, oblivious of the redhead's shouts of disapproval. Said unhappy camper was mumbling curses under his breath about not being able to skate, and yet, this didn't faze the blonde from his motives.

"Oh, don't worry, Sasori-danna! I won't let you fall, un!" Deidara grinned at his fellow artist, before adding, "I'll teach you how to skate!"

Sasori blinked; Deidara knew how to skate? Well, that sort of explained why he was easily being lead to the center of the rink that was marked off by a huge square of four cones. The redhead quirked an eyebrow, before inquiring, "Hn, and how are you gonna get a noob like me to be able to skate by himself?"

The blonde giggled. Did Sasori doubt his skating knowledge? "Un, it's easy," Deidara said, letting go of Sasori's hand once they reached the middle, and turned to face his Danna. By doing this, the redhead went rigid and leant forward, trying to maintain the one thing Sasori was unaware to notice. "You simply need balance."

Balance. Huh. _That would make a lot of sense_, Sasori mused, a frown drawn on his handsome features. He stared at Deidara for a moment, studying his so-called best friend, trying to see how the clay artist kept such perfect poise.

"Anyways, un, listen," Deidara waved a hand in front of Sasori, trying to get his attention. Once the redhead looked up, the artist continued. "You need to bend your knees slightly – like this..." Deidara demonstrated, his knees bending at a certain angle. The blonde squeaked softly when Sasori bent over too much, and had to catch his redheaded friend before he fell flat on his face. "Un, you need to be more careful..." Deidara breathed, blushing slightly. It was sort of nice, though awkward, for the redhead to be leaning (or suffocated, in Sasori's opinion) against his chest.

"Mhnfghh!" Sasori tried to speak, and only ended up mumbling something in the blonde's blue sweater. Deidara helped Sasori get to an upright position, before shooting a glare at the blonde. "See? I can't do this. So if you'd be kind enough to help me off—what are you doing _now_?"

Deidara had positioned himself behind Sasori. "Danna, un, I'm just gonna put you in the right position; don't worry." One arm stationed itself around his Danna's waist to keep him from falling, while the other helped bend his knees at the appropriate amount. All the while, Sasori watched on, a blush tinting his cheeks. He was a bit embarrassed, but luckily, no one was watching the pair. Itachi and Kisame were stroking around the rink, idly arguing about what they'd eat later. Zetsu was watching Tobi from the bleachers over head, while said masked boy was spinning and whatnot on the ice. Pein was busy persuading the staff to allow Hidan and Kakuzu to continue to stay in the building (but not on the ice), while Konan had wandered off. Deidara had situated Sasori so that he'd be able to keep his balance and appeared next to his friend. "Is that better, un?"

Sasori nodded. "Yeah… thanks…"

The clay artist tried to teach Sasori how to skate, but that was somewhat of a failure. God, that boy had no balance whatsoever! Deidara only got up to teaching Sasori how to properly stop before he asked, "Deidara, where did you learn to skate? You've never told me that, in all the years we've been friends."

The blonde blushed, before rubbing the back of neck unconsciously. "Umm… I stopped skating the year I met you, un. You know my younger sister, Ino, right? Well, she gets jealous of me a lot, since I'm more athletic than her and all. I had been skating for about four years, and she joined skating after that, un... Ino had trouble jumping, un, and that's when she took a fall on a jump... it wasn't even that nasty of a fall!" Deidara's voice rose slightly, and he narrowed his eyes. "I was on my double jumps, un; I almost had them all clean, asides for my double axel; I was just starting on them! And then my stupid sister had to make such a huge fuss about it, how skating was dangerous and all!" Deidara's fists clenched, his lips curling into a snarl of sorts. "So my parents got all worried and made me stop skating! But I still loved my art more than skating, so I wasn't really alone after that…"A regretful look flashed in the blonde's visible cerulean eye. "I used to like skating… but it's for the better that I stopped, right, un? I guess people would have made fun of me if I told them, neh?" Deidara forced a weak smile.

"Dei, listen. I'm not the one to give advice, but seriously man; pursue anything that you think is worth it." Sasori sighed, before pointing at the windows of the snack bar that overlooked the skating rink. Changing the topic might be a good idea. "Wanna go get something to eat?" The blonde nodded, lighting up at the mention of food.

Once they got off the ice, Deidara motioned for Sasori to go upstairs without him. "I need to go get some money, un," The redhead insisted he'd pay for Deidara, but the blonde waved him off. Sasori shrugged and went ahead.

The group of friends had left personal belongings on a bench down there before they got on the ice. As Deidara arrived to their spot, he began looking for his rucksack that was consumed in the mess. The blonde looked for it for about five minutes, and failed to find it. A frown graced his features; did that mean someone stole it? He sighed. "Bah, mother's gonna --- What the hell, un?!" The back of Deidara's head throbbed in pain, and the blonde turned around, glaring at whoever had whacked him upside of his head… with his own bag. Hidan was clutching the brown material, smirking at Deidara.

"Sadly, I didn't find anything in there that I could use for my own use. Don't worry; I'll be sure to get back at ya. Later, blondie!" The flaxen-haired man threw the clay artist his bag, which ended up knocking Deidara on the floor as the artist caught it, and left to join a tired Kakuzu.

"That was a waste of time, idiot," Kakuzu muttered, before leaving the Skate Rentals with the Jashin-follower. "Now let's go to the arcade."

Deidara blinked, before a frown graced his features. What did the Jashinist mean by getting back at hi—oh. Right. The blonde knew Hidan couldn't be that bright, or at least bright enough to come up for revenge when the artist teased him earlier. He made a mental note to keep an eye on Hidan, and left to join Sasori upstairs. This was proving to be a very interesting day thus far.

-

Yeah. Sorry about resubmitting it three times. c: I found last minute corrections. Feel free to beat me with a yaoi paddle. D:

I'd appreciate it if you leave reviews on your way out! There's always room for improvement with me. ;D


	2. Failed Attempts at Flirting

Author's notes: Uh. Well, I don't mean to offend any hockey players in this chapter. oo Sorry.

Warnings: Lotsa swearing, hockey bashing, shameless flirting.

-

Once the blonde retrieved his money, he went to catch up with his Danna upstairs. Upon arriving, a sign hung above the entrance. Blinding neon words were displayed to anyone who read it; "VILLA PIZZA".

Deidara began searching for Sasori, and ultimately failed; a number of hockey players were lounging around the snack bar, making it harder for the clay artist to continue his hunt. Their muscular build and height (especially with their skates on) hid his rather short redheaded friend from view.

As the blonde walked past a table, he received a whistle from one of the players. Deidara bit his lip, trying to hold back a nasty comment for them. Unfortunately, once it was heard by the other players, Deidara seemed to catch more attention. More wolf whistles erupted from one of the tables, causing most of the eyes in Villa Pizza to look at what all the commotion was about. Embarrassed, Deidara continued his way forward, but a towering figure blocked him. Three hockey players stood in his way, all of the grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Hey lil' lady… you lookin' for anyone special up here? You know, cuz, we could provide some entertainment after I've finished my game…" He said lazily, his grin never disappearing. He ducked his head towards Deidara's eye level, a lustful tone in his eyes.

Thoroughly disgusted, Deidara backed away. What, did they not notice his lack of _chest_? Where they that dumb? Really, Deidara had thought hockey players were idiots, but now he was convinced.

"Excuse me, un, I actually am looking for someone special," He replied, grinning. He felt the atmosphere around him tense as his rather manly voice reached the ones in ear shot. The majority turned their backs and went back to what they were previously doing, while some looked on with newfound curiosity. "And I'm sure you'd love to have fun with me once I fuck up your face."

The brunette was in shock, albeit it didn't last long. The same eerie smile appeared once again. He leaned in closer, until they were almost nose to nose. Deidara instantly stiffened as his personal bubble was invaded. "Ya know what? I have this thing for feisty blondes. All you're doin' is just makin' me want ya more, cutie…" He licked his lips as he said the words, his eyes shining like a predator would as it cornered its prey. The brunette player's friends had stealthy positioned themselves in back of Deidara, incase he decided to run. And if the blonde darted sideways, they could easily snag him.

Deidara squirmed in discomfort; he could do one of two (idiotic) things. Punch this fucktard in the face, or run. Despite how futile it may be, the blonde chose the latter. Without a second thought, he darted around behind the brunette and went to push him into his lackeys. After that, the clay artist had to contemplate the closest escape. There were three ways out. First, there were the stairs from which he came that lead into the lobby. Well, that choice was eliminated. Then there was the door that led into the skating rink. Finally, there was an exit all the way in the back of the snack bar, and Deidara was clueless as to where it would take him. He decided on the entrance to the skating rink.

As soon as he opened the door, the clay artist ran into something - or, in truth, someone. Ouch. As the blonde looked up, rubbing his head gingerly, he stared at the object of his question. Great. It was Sasori.

Well, this could be pretty ugly, Deidara reflected. Sasori has been known to be very dangerous if someone gave him the wrong look. And these guys are perfect for the job.

"Deidara?" He questioned, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

Deidara only gave him a sheepish grin, before he felt pain throb at the back of his head. The blonde yelped in surprise, trying to pull away from whoever had a hold on his ponytail.

Sasori glared at Deidara's attacker; it was none other than the brunette, who had gotten up and predictably followed the blonde. Too bad Deidara's escape didn't go as planned. The redhead immediately stepped into action as the clay artist whimpered pathetically. Sasori grabbed the man's wrist, digging his nails into the flesh. Despite contrary belief, Sasori would also step into action if any close to him was hurt. And fuck, no one knew (besides the puppeteer himself)

"Let go of him, please," The puppet master coolly commanded, half-lidded eyes glinted with annoyance. The brunette only smirked; why would a tough hockey player like him submit to the demands of such a short, and seemingly younger, person? He'll do that as soon as hell froze over. The hockey player gave the redhead 'The Look' Sasori had been waiting for, and Sasori grinned inwardly.

And at that moment, the underworld must have dropped below freezing for the brunette's wrist was screaming in pain. Sasori had gone and twisted it, his facial features stoic as he committed such a cruel, albeit an oh-so-deserving act. The hockey player let go, cradling his injured wrist. By now, a crowd had started to form around the fight, and no one was even attempting to stop them; they only cheered the fighters on. That is until a menacing voice cut through the atmosphere like a knife, making both Deidara and Sasori inwardly flinch.

"What's going on here?" Pein had pushed his way through the crowd, glancing from the artists to the hockey players. He wrinkled his nose in distaste before motioning for Deidara and Sasori to follow him. The redhead and blonde gave each other an 'oh shit' look, before straightening themselves out and following their leader.

Once in the lobby, Pein let out an exasperated sigh. "Wow, you guys. I'm amazed. Do you know how much you all fucking act like children? I can see blondie here getting in a fight, but I didn't expect you, Sasori, to get into one, and—"

"Excuse me, un," Deidara interjected, "Sasori-danna was only trying to—"

"The guy looked at me wrong, Pein-sama," Sasori interrupted the previous interrupter, and continued, "And after all, aren't we a _gang_? As in, _aren't we're supposed to beat the shit out of people_?"

"No shit, Sasori, but this is different—"

"_**Uuuuunnn**_!"

"Then why couldn't I fight him?!"

"Would you two listen to me—"

"Can I say something, un?"

"Pein-sama, with all due respect, I—"

"QUIET!" Pein was seething with annoyance, and the artists could almost see a vein throb on their leader's forehead. The orange-haired man rubbed his aching temple with his fingers, before continuing. "The reason why I won't let you fight anyone here is because I simply don't want to get kicked out of here. Okay? Hidan already fucked up major for our group's impression, and you can bet your pretty asses the staff here are watching us. Your fight isn't gonna help either, so cool down for awhile. If you see those people when we leave, I'll let you go ahead and fuck them up."

There was a brief pause, before Deidara spoke up. "Pein-sama, un, is there any reason as to why you're so fixed on staying here?" Sasori picked up on this and grinned.

"Yeah, why would you care so much if we got kicked out? It's not like we come here often."

Pein glared at the pair, all the while trying to wrack an excuse from his brain. "Why _shouldn't_ I care? I take you guys enjoy yourselves today, on _my_ Saturday, and this how you repay me?"

"You offered to take us here - it's not like we begged on our hands and knees and kissed your feet afterwards," Sasori snorted, preoccupied in watching a kid insert money into the vending machine. Unfortunately, the vending machine refused to offer any of its goods to the boy, only resulting in the brat crying.

"Sasori-danna's right, un!

"Fuck you guys. Can't you be more like Konan? At least she doesn't bitch as much as blondie over there." Deidara scowled.

"I so don't bitch, un!" Silence passed over them. "..Right?" Sasori coughed a little, and Pein smirked triumphantly. The blond whimpered, looking at his redheaded friend for affirmation. "I don't whine that much, do I, Danna?"

Sasori shifted uncomfortably as Deidara stared him down with a cute pout. But Sasori knew that that rather adorable pout was covering up an ugly face twisted with murderous intent. The puppeteer shuddered involuntarily. "Well... yea, you do." Deidara was about to start when suddenly a voice came from behind.

"Hey guys...! Pein, I've been looking for you everywhere! Where the hell have you been!?" Konan was striding towards them, shooting an unpleasant look at the pierced man. Pein rolled his eyes.

"I told you I was going to find—"

"No you didn't, you fucker! You fucking left me near a bunch of lecherous old men! God, and I don't need anymore people on my List!" She dramatically shook her head, a playful smirk etched on her lips. Per usual, Konan couldn't be mad at anyone for long, especially if it was Pein.

Deidara's interest sparked. "List, un?"

Konan's eyes flashes with an expression Deidara couldn't place, before she grinned. "Ya, the List," She glanced at Pein, who groaned audibly. "The one I made to keep track of everyone who wants my body. Want to join it?" She smirked again, and Deidara flushed a bit, looking away. "And that lovely pervert over there is the first one on my List." She jerked her thumb towards Pein and received a death glare. It was known that the only person who was allowed to mess with the Leader of the Akatsuki was her; anyone else would be brutally maimed by the pierced man's temper. Pein sighed and leant against the wall, shaking his head.

"Konan, Konan, when will you ever learn?" Pein frowned and wagged his finger at her. "It's you who wants my body."

"Psh. You wish."

"Luv, who do you think you're kidding? You've been all over me since I first met you."

"And you're just in denial because you can't have me." She stuck her tongue out, and Pein made a comment about that if she didn't close her mouth, he'd do that for her.

As the two continued to shamelessly flirt, Deidara and Sasori slowly inched away. It's nice that they're all lovey-dovey, but it was sort of awkward.

Sasori sighed, checking the time. The clock behind the lobby's desk read 12:30. Damn. They still had to burn off about five more hours. That sounded like loads of fun. "Hmm… should we go to the Arcade, Dei? ...Possibly LazerZone?"

Deidara seemed to light up at the puppeteer's comment. "Ha, you just read my mind, un! We should grab Itachi and Kisame… possibly Hidan and Kakuzu, too."

"Oh? What about Zetsu? Or more importantly, Tobi?" A wicked grin appeared over Sasori's lips. How did that idiot manage to piss of Deidara with just a plain 'Hi'?_ Props to him_, the redhead thought, a smirk twisting at the corners of his lips.

"Fuck **no**, un! I don't care about Zetsu, but definitely not him- Wait, hold that thought! No! We _should_ invite him!" A look of blatant evil spread over his face, and Sasori couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah. I've also been meaning to give a little something to Itachi and Hidan for awhile, too…"

The two artists walked off to gather their party, their moods considerably brightened since their incident only ten minutes ago.

Oh joy, only a few more hours to go.

-

Lolchapter2. I'll try to update sooner. I had 2 projects over the week, and skating. D: I have a life too, ya know.

Reviews are much loved. c:


	3. Starry Eyed Surprise

Author's notes: M'kay. After two months of neglection, here it is. raeped me, so I was held captive there by beautiful stories, which inspired me to continue this. So I say: **-spoilersplz-** "Screw you plot line! I don't care what Tobi looks like under his mask, how many Peins there are, how his name is spelt, or if Tobi is Tobi!" **-end spoilers nao-**

Warnings: Moar swearing, Mary Sue-ish characters, and yaoi.

Edit plz: Right. I notice, after how many months?, that I spelt Paul Oakenfold's name as Oakenfield. Right. Wow. So I hid my face for about 2 weeks in embarrassment, because I'm awesome like that. Fictionpress is taking over my life, and will this continue? Who knows. Sorry guys.

-

"Okay, so the rules of the game are simple. Since you're a small group, we'll only have two teams; Red versus Blue. Now you're going to take this," the employee paused, grabbing a piece of equipment from the rack next to the members of the Akatsuki. She held it out for them to see, as if they were a bunch of elementary kids. Deidara couldn't help but think of her as a dumb bitch already. She had a ditzy look on her face when she first arrived.

She started again, slipping the equipment over herself, and suddenly the pile of black material looked like a vest. "You'll slide it on like this, and buckle these two things here. Got it?"

Deidara snorted loudly. "Yeah, that's real specific. I can only imagine how you'd explain it to a-" Sasori kicked the blonde in the shin, earning a ferocious snarl from the clay artist.

The staff member let out an exasperated sigh, and threw her hands up in defeat. "Whatever. You go ahead and figure out how to put on the LazerZone equipment, since you're all big boys… or in some cases, big girls." She smirked victoriously as she received a nasty look from the blonde; score one for the ice arena staff! She unceremoniously retreated to the desk, back to her laptop, leaving the group in peace.

The clay artist opened his mouth to start something, but Itachi spoke first.

"Just drop it, Dei. Just drop it."

The blonde let his bottom lip jut out in what he thought was a cute manner, but went it unnoticed.

Itachi stared at the rest of the group, excluding Deidara (who now made himself a spot on Itachi's 'ignore list'). His dark eyes settled on first Kisame, then Sasori, Hidan, and Tobi. His gaze flickered back so he could see each and every one of them, yet not looking at anyone in particular, before he beckoned towards the wall bearing the vests and plastic guns. "Shall we?"

With this, Itachi was trampled by three particular idiots in a race to be on the blue team.

-

"Ahem."

No response.

Deidara cleared his throat louder, hoping to gain the employee's attention. But _noooo_, the girl completely lost in her own world. Her senses were numbed by a bright screen and obnoxious music.

"Excuse me, un?" A silence followed and this only proved to shorten Deidara' patience...which was considerably amazing that he still had some left after Sasori forced him to ask Tobi to join them. He knocked on the glass that separated him from the girl, and half yelled out, "Hello?!"

This gained the girl's attention, and she looked up through half-lidded eyes that the blonde hadn't noticed before. Deidara's stomach did some Olympic acrobatic stunt and he stepped back, a bit off balance. She… looked strikingly familiar…!

Those were the same kind of eyes that a certain redhead had.

"Ya?" The girl barked, taking out her earphones and directing her attention to Deidara. She took the opportunity to place the curly ginger locks from her face and set them behind her triple pierced ear. Excluding the longer hair, freckles, female parts, and stud earrings, this girl was the spitting image of the puppeteer! Said employee sneered at Deidara, and the clay artist reminded himself that Sasori was much more handsome than this lady could ever be compared. "You wanted something?" Yup, even the impatient attitude summed up Sasori when he was in a ticked-off mood.

"We're ready to go, un."

"Finally."

And like that, the fact of how much Deidara liked, _liked_ Sasori, hit him like a metal ball covered in string. The blonde followed the staff without a word, mulling over the thought with consideration.

-

Sasori groaned. No way in hell was he partnered up with Hidan and Tobi for this stupid game. No way in _bloody fucking _hell.

Deidara had ditched him for some unknown reason, and the redhead had come to a conclusion that the pyromaniac would pay for it later.

The employee gave the few Akatsuki members a pitiful look, and then motioned for the two teams to separate. "Okay; I'm going to turn the lights off, so you sorry group of bored teenagers can go and hide." The group glared at her and then nodded, before splitting with their teams and running through the labyrinth-like room.

The Red team, which consisted of Sasori, Hidan, and the loveable Tobi, had crouched down behind a structure that resembled a bridge (minus the gap beneath it). The group were switching their plastic guns on and adjusting their vests in a last minute preparation. Tobi had finished and slumped against the back of the bridge, pouting. The boy usually lost the mask in public places.

"I still want to be on Deidara-senpai's team," Tobi whined, earning a universal gesture from Hidan.

"Shut the motherfucking hell up, idiot," the Jashinist snarled, whacking the boy successfully enough as to earn a disgruntled noise from him. Sasori rolled his eyes at the two, getting impatient with the LazerTag game already. He never did like to wait for things.

Tobi covered his head. "That _hurt_, Hidan-senpai! Why'd you-"

All of a sudden the lights dimmed, and Hidan slapped his hand over Tobi's mouth. The rest of his words were muffled, thank god, and there was a slight possibility that no one would spot them out already. The panther spots on the walls started fluorescing, giving off lime green light to make out the corridors in the room. Music was playing from unknown whereabouts of the speakers; Sasori recognized the song as 'Starry Eyed Surprise'. First off, Sasori knew that song inside out and backwards; secondly, thank you, Diet Coke commercial!

The Red team nodded in unanimity, and the three split up in search of blue members.

-

"Team plan; destroy any Red members on the battlefield!" Kisame pumped his fist in the air, grinning toothily. His blue skin glinted as the walls radiated light; for some reason or another, it still freaked Deidara out to no end. But, hey – after all, Deidara shouldn't be the one to say such a thing. The mystery surrounding his palms could've meant anything, and he swore that the supposed 'burn line' was moist at times.

A vaguely familiar song from a commercial began to play as the Blue team wandered off. Itachi and Kisame stalked off together, while Deidara was left by himself.

-

"I've spotted someone, Itachi!" rung Kisame's voice, clear enough for anyone in the labyrinth of a room to hear. He had his fake laser gun pointed at the red target on a person's vest and aimed. The figure spun around at the exact moment and shot at the taller man.

There was a moment of silence between the two opposing members before a mechanical whir came from one of the vests, along with a '**_Red member shot! Red member shot! Wait a minute before effective again._**' Kisame's victim cursed and fled into the nearest corridor.

The blue-skinned man beamed at the raven-haired Uchiha that had been standing behind him. "See that, Tachi?"

"Hn," Itachi glanced around, before immediately spinning on his heel and firing at as Tobi jumped from his hiding place. The same '_**Red member shot! Red member shot! Wait a minute before effective again**_' erupted from Tobi's vest.

"Aww, that's no fair, Itachi-senpai!" Tobi called, before fleeing back into the shadows.

"Hot damn, we kick ass, Tachi!"

A slight, _you-had-to-squint-see-it_ smile crept upon the Uchiha's lips, before he replied, "We do indeed, Kisame."

-

Sasori had retreated after being shot by Kisame, cursing. How could his aim have been off? He made a mental note to work on said aim when the Akatsuki gang trained again; maybe he could see Tobi's mask for dart practice.

The redhead tipped his head back, resting it against the wall, waiting to become effectual again. As soon as he did that, a glare of brightness met his eyes. The puppeteer shielded his eyes and vaguely made out the source from where the beam of light came from; a circular white light that was plastered to the ceiling. Visible pieces of dandruff-resembling stuff swirled in circles, landing on Sasori's shoulders. He brushed them off, wrinkling his nose in a disdainful manner. With a sigh, the puppeteer slid down the wall and hugged his knees.

A minute after, there was a beeping noise from his vest that signaled his effectiveness again, and with that, Sasori began to stand up and plan his next move and target- mainly Kisame, because payback was such a sweet, sweet thing.

Something shifted in the corner of Sasori's eye, and he turned to face his new opponent. And before the redhead had time to reload his plastic weapon, the figure had dodged his attack and pinned him against the wall.

Sasori felt an overwhelming rush of dizziness fill his head as the figure gently pressed their lips to his, and swore he saw only a single sapphire eye reflect the light from above them, along with elongated blonde locks brushing against his cheek.

-

**A/N: Ack. Once again, many apologies for my sucky updating. I'm writing my own fiction story and gonna post it on one day. Lulz.**

**Firstly, the song 'Starry Eyed Surprise' is owned by Paul Oakenfold. God bless his soul.**

**Thanks to everyone who's snet lovely replies! They were much appreciated! -hugs you guys-**

**Read and Review? It makes my story seem sexier than it's supposed to be.**


	4. What'd he say?

_**LOLSUP GUISE. I'M BAAAAACK.**_

Sorry. Truely, I am. I was browsing through things in my email, found a few fanfiction emails, died a bit on the inside from guilt eating at me, checked out my fanfiction account, reread whatever sad excuse I had of Balance, magically became motivated, and wrote this short, short chapter in a day.

So if anyone has returned who used to read this, I give a piece of my soul to you and declare my undying love for you. If you have read this before, and are looking at these comments saying, _'Fuck you, Chels. Fuck you_.', I really don't blame you

IF YOU'RE A NEWCOMER, PRZ REMEBER: DON'T HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR STORY UPDATES. DON'T. OR YOU'LL END UP LIKE THOSE GUYS. -points at people reviewing story-.

Now enjoy. I'll finish this story, one day. And this is totally not a filler chapter. :c

**Warning: Boy(s) being gay, the destruction of baby-making parts, more boys being gay, just gay boys, attempts at humour, strong use of language, misunderstandings, a bit of Deidara!angst, and abuse of the italics button.** Enjoy!

**-**

_Okay, Sasori, let's try to act rationally here. First, let's analyze the situation and then—_

"The hell?!" Sasori broke away from the other's kiss, pushing them to the ground with outrage. _Fuck you, conscience; I don't have time to think about what the hell is going on._

Sasori tried to identify the suspect, but they had crawled into the shadows in an attempt to leave the scene. Of course, Sasori couldn't allow this; to start with, sneak attacking Sasori in LazerZone when it has nothing to do with plastic guns or shooting is a _definite_ no. To add to that, trying to _rape his mouth_ and _get away with impunity_ is an even bigger no. With a lunge, Sasori went for his attacker, only embracing the air itself. The figure had scrambled up and fled, turning into a narrow passage and vanishing. Trying to follow whoever had the nerve to escape from what they started, Sasori found himself unable to take another step; a strong hand was clamped around his shoulder, a voice answering Sasori's unspoken outburst.

"Yo, chill, shrimp. Don't fuck Dei up that bad..." Hidan's statement put the redhead into a state of temporary paralysis. What was that…did he say…?

…was Hidan calling him **_short_**? Goddamnit, he-

And then the Jashinist's second half of his words sunk into Sasori's mind, dragging him back to his paralyzed state. Dei? Was he referring to the Deidara they knew…?

_Of fucking course, genius; thanks for playing._

A rush of thoughts and questions and complete anger or _something_ flushed through the puppeteer's body. His mouth was in a condition of should-I-be-saying-something-or-maybe-not, making him look completely idiotic, as his mouth opened and closed wordlessly. It wasn't until Hidan removed his hand from Sasori's shoulder and jabbed him roughly in the side, humming out, 'What, you couldn't tell? For the love of Jashin, say something, man,', before the redhead could make a coherent sentence, let alone a word.

"That wasn't him." Sasori's jaw clenched as he said it, knowing his own words were complete horseshit. Hidan was only laughing, shaking his head at the puppeteer. Of course it was Deidara. Of bloody course. The image of the blue eye reflected under that light was pretty obvious as to who it could only be. _Alright, Sasori, good job; you're not in denial that you're fellow artist friend kissed you… it was a fervent, almost hopeful, and-_

_A thought struck him. Was Sasori really complaining? He did have this sad excuse for a crush on his friend, but why was there that awkward lingering on his lips after? Shouldn't it have felt right and all that crap from all of those hopeless romance stories he was fascinated with when he was a child? It could have only felt wrong since he had no idea it was his blonde friend, while it could've, in that split second, been anyone?_

Hold up. Mental image of it being Itachi, instead of the pyromaniac, ravaging Sasori's lips.

...

...Alright. Now he really wanted it to be Deidara kissing him, instead of... anyone else.

Sasori recovered after that, shaking his head. Let's save the thinking for later. Hidan was there, and if he continued to think about this…

"Dude, are you fucking _blushing_? You should be repulsed, or like, angry, or fucking something other than—**OH HOLY MOTHERFUCKING JASHIN, I _NEED_ THOSE, GOD DAMN SHRIMP! HOLY JASHIN FUCKING _PALOMINO_…**"

With that, Sasori followed the escape route Deidara had taken, leaving the Jashinist to keel over and clutch onto Hidan Jr. in a fit of hysterics.

**-**

"Man down, man down!" Tobi was running around a practically crying Hidan, flailing his arms, not helping the situation at all. He had stumbled across the fair-haired man after outrunning a predatory weasel and shark. "Hidaaaaaaaaan! What happened?! _Man down_!"

"Oh… dear… Jashin… puppeteer… tea-bagging…Deidara…make the pain stop." Of course, the Jashinist meant to say something along the lines of, 'Oh dear Jashin, I'm going to fucking get that puppeteer. Tea-bagging might need to be in order…or maybe I should rape Deidara. Oh motherfucking shit, make the pain stop.'

And of course, how did Tobi interpret it?

"WHAT? ARE YOU TELLING ME SASORI IS GOING TO TEA BAG DEIDARA-SEMPAI?!"

And just like that, Tobi was off, plastic gun at the ready. Oh, had Sasori made an enemy out of him.

**-**

Shaky breaths came from a certain blue-eyed man, who had plastered his body to one of the non-fluorescent walls, trying to blend in with the darkness. Oh, of all the things he had to do due to that nasty caprice he had, kissing his Danna wasn't such a smart thing to even think of, especially here. Nope, scratch that. Definitely not smart. Now he'd have to get through these next ten minutes of this game without a certain redhead finding him, and not to mention the Red Team itself; after that, he'd have to bolt out of the LazerZone room and…

That was probably stupider than kissing Sasori on such a whim. Might as well be confronted, instead of having to sit in a car ride back with him, without knowing how the puppeteer would respond to him. Eh. Woe is the life of Deidara.

The fall of footsteps could be heard, coming from behind Deidara._ Shit. Please don't let it be…_

"DON'T WORRY, DEIDARA, I'LL PROTECT YOU FROM SASORI!"

_…Tobi._

And what exactly did that orange-masked fool mean by protecting him from Sasori? Did Sasori realize…? And now he was coming after Deidara?

The blonde paled in an instant, trying to press further back in the wall. Fuckity fuck fuck. This was going smoothly. He waited for Tobi to tromp on past, before he made a mad dash towards the Blue Base, his vision completely blinded by a mixture of apprehension and distress.

**-**

_Somewhere, in a dark corner of the LazerZone room, a certain Jashinist was completely ignored, due to the whole new plot twist. He now plans to file a law suit against the author and every other insane fangirl out there. Expect him to come after you when someone actually bothers to find him, which is extremely unlikely._

**-**

DON'T YOU LOVE HOW THEY ARE ALL IN ONE HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING? i know i do.

Uhwow. This chapter is really question after question after a bit of humour after motherfucking question. How boring. The next chapter, we might... see some action. Or some rejection. Or some other pairings...I like that idea. :3

To all my reviewers, who I have pretty much screwed for these past months, I have one thing to say: i haz no cookiez to give 4 mai sorryz!111

But I can write slash for your perverted pleasure

READ AND REVIEW, I GUESS. IT SORTAKINDAREALLY MAKES ME HAPPY. ;A;


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